My new job at The Phoenix Center is centered on educating people about HIV/AIDS. As a result I talk about sex and condoms nearly every day. I've become known as the condom lady for passing out condoms where ever I go. At first I was uncomfortable and a little uneasy about my subject matter but...it's like diving off a cliff, it's never as scary as the first time and every time I speak in public I become more comfortable. I've been taught by the experts that if you aren't comfortable talking about sex, you won't be effective and you won't be able to do your job so I've learned to get over that awkwardness and it's been interesting to watch what my comfort level can do to warm up my audience. I actually demonstrated putting a condom on with my mouth in a group yesterday and was astounded that I did that and I did a pretty good job of it.

What it comes down to is this. HIV/AIDS is killing millions of people, 40,000 people in the U.S. contract the HIV virus each and every year, and we're letting our embarrassment and awkwardness about sex get in the way of educating people and preventing them from contracting this fatal disease. Despite what Dr. James Dobson and other conservatives would have you believe, a latex or polyurethane condom is the most effective device to prevent contracting HIV or a sexually transmitted disease. But... you have to know how to properly use the condoms, have access to them and use them each and every time you have sex. You also should use a condom when you engage in oral sex. If you've ever seen someone with a huge herpes sore on their mouth you'll know and understand the importance of flavored condoms and dental dams.

I hope that I'm empowering women to carry condoms and to insist that their partners use them. That's why teaching women to put the condom on with their mouth and incorporating the condom into foreplay is so important. Women must have the ability to overcome the man's objections and protect themselves. A light bulb moment for me on this issue was when a health educator told me one of the primary reasons men won't use condoms is that they get soft and lose their erections when they attempt to put them on. I tell everyone this because men are certainly not going to admit this. It's all about increasing people's comfort level with condoms because if they get comfortable with them and they know how to use them...chances are they will begin to practice safe sex.

As part of my work, I met with a guy recently who told me he thought there was a law in SC banning minors from purchasing condoms. He had been at Wal-Mart and the man ahead of him was buying condoms and the clerk asked for his ID. I checked this out and discovered there was no law in SC; this is apparently Wal-Mart's own moralistic policy. Why not make it more difficult for kids to get condoms by putting up a barrier? I'm sure they think this will prevent kids from having sex! I can assure you if a kid ever got ID'ed at the register they would be so mortified they would never again attempt to purchase condoms.

In my research on this issue, I also discovered an interesting proposed law by our beloved state legislators. Several years ago a resolution was adopted in the House and sent to the Senate which mandated that condom machines be removed from rest areas which had become places for homosexual acts. I guess they figured if the gay guys couldn't get a condom in the bathroom they would just turn around and go home. This has got to be one of the stupidest, most ill advised pieces of legislation ever. But then when we're talking about South Carolina, I guess that's a pretty competitive field.