Being a mother has been the most challenging and most rewarding job in my life. My son is 16 years old and so far has proven to be a brilliant, funny, kind and insightful son. I have moments of frustration and anger but these are more than overshadowed by the overwhelming pride and unspeakable joy he infuses into my life. I give my son full credit for changing my life in many ways, one of the most profound ways was prompting me to become a volunteer guardian ad litem.

I currently serve on the non-profit board supporting the Greenville County Guardian ad Litem Program. Previous to that I served as a volunteer guardian ad litem for dozens of children over a span of 15 years. Although I still maintain contact with several of my guardian children, I stopped advocating for them in favor of serving on the board over a year ago.

During these years as a guardian I experienced frustration, anger, pride and resignation. I watched children that were seemingly damaged beyond repair blossom into healthy, happy children in foster and adoptive homes. I've helped to reunite families broken by poverty, ignorance, abuse and neglect. I've terminated parental rights and helped other children get services that they were denied by the system. I have been so discouraged and overwhelmed that at times I felt like walking away and quitting. This work isn't for sissies and it takes an emotional toll but I always knew that I was making a difference and it was too important to quit.

The importance of the work performed by volunteer guardians and court appointed special advocates or CASA's was brought home anew to me during the recent national CASA convention. This year's special guests were a group of former foster children who had been represented by GAL's or CASA's. The young adults spoke at a luncheon and seminar and some of them created digital movies, which told the story of their experience with CASA and the foster care system. The children told these heart wrenching stories so matter of factly that it stunned me. They reminded me of several severely traumatized children I had represented who seemed like they were suffering from post traumatic stress disorder. I guess after awhile you get numb to the pain. All of the children had numerous placements and led lives of uncertainty and constant change until they were assigned a guardian to represent them and advocate in their best interest. Conception Cuevas was representative of the group. Conception entered foster care at the age of 7 and lived in 11 different placements and attended 8 different high schools. She was separated from her siblings and was failing in school until she was assigned a CASA at the age of 15. Conception is now enrolled in college, has regular contact with her sisters and seems at peace with her life. Perhaps most amazing is the story of Kadia Edwards, who was abandoned by her mother when she was 8 years old. After numerous placements she was assigned a guardian and her life stabilized. Kadia is a graduate of Georgetown University and a graduate student at Duke University. She maintains close contact with her volunteer guardian, who she says has become like a substitute mother in her life.

Kadia and Conception's life stories made me realize how much unrealized potential the half million children living in foster care have. They brought into focus the importance of a stabilizing influence in the turbulent lives of foster care children. I wrote down some of the things that the teenagers said, they included; "Love never fails," "Don't give up on us," "People come and go, we need someone to stick around," "Don't make promises you can't keep," "Never try to enforce your own beliefs and values on your CASA kids, we are the way we are because of what we've been through."

Nearly all of the children told the audience to make a long term commitment to their CASA/GAL children. They needed to feel that you will stick around and not abandon them like most of the other adults in their lives. Someone in the audience asked one of the children to describe the perfect guardian and she pointed to her GAL and said "She's sitting right there." Another child said the perfect guardian isn't gender, race or religion specific; they just love you for you.

I don't know all the answers about parenting or being a guardian ad litem but I do know that unconditional love and acceptance is part of the key to success.