My only child will graduate from high school tonight. Ben is a brilliant, handsome, funny, and well mannered all around wonderful son. He graduates sixth in his class of over 200 at Wade Hampton High School, he was awarded a full tuition scholarship to The Savannah College of Art and Design, and he has two jobs this summer and a girl friend that both my husband and I really like. We enjoy his friends and most of all love spending time with Ben. I am filled with pride and a sense of relief that we made it through high school relatively unscathed and he became the kind of young adult I always wished I could have been had I had more ambition, better study habits and less a desire to be a social butterfly. I tell you all this to brag a little yes, but to also say that because Ben is such an exceptional child and because he is my one and only child my heart is always stilled by stories of other mothers and fathers who’s children are taken from them by accidents or worse still murder. That’s why the murder of Sean Kennedy has been especially difficult for me to process. I didn’t know Sean Kennedy personally but I know that his mother Elke Kennedy Parker loved him dearly and she mourns him as only a mother can when her precious son is murdered in what appears to be a hate crime.

Sean Kennedy was physically assaulted in the parking lot of a Greenville bar on May 16^th, he died as a result of this attack and his attacker has been charged with murder. The FBI is investigating the incident to determine if it meets their criteria to be labeled as a “hate” crime. One thing is certain Sean Kennedy was a homosexual man, who was apparently quite open about his sexuality and that apparently did not always suit everyone around him. I’ve been personally told of one incident in particular. Sean was a retail clerk and a woman wearing a t-shirt emblazoned with a religious slogan entered the store where Sean was working when Sean approached the woman to ask if he could help her, she responded by saying, “No we don’t like to do business with faggots.” This may not be an exact quote but the word faggot was definitely part of her statement of rejection. Sean told a mutual friend that incidents like this one were a fairly routine occurrence for him. My heart sank when I heard that story. I think about all my gay friends when I hear young kids describe anything negative or uncool as “gay.” When did that word get attached to everything negative? Why is it acceptable for so-called Christians to HATE homosexuals or people they deem different or not fitting into their sexual stereotypes? I’m not clear on where that is in the Bible? When did God come down from Heaven and announce that it is acceptable to hate people who love people who are the same sex as they are and you can also discriminate against them and kill them if you want to. Maybe these are the same kind of Christians that also find it acceptable to kill doctors and nurses who perform abortions.

Sean Kennedy said it best in a poem entitled “Grin” he wrote that his mother discovered after his death,

“I stand tall with all of my pride. You hate. You discriminate all who are not like you.

Yes, your words do hurt.

But I stand in the end.

I’m a strong person, bigger than you…I’ll be standing there with a grin.”

Sean Kennedy was an incredibly strong individual because he was open and honest about whom he was despite the hate. I’ve had lots of conversations over the years with gay friends where I’ve callously encouraged them to be more open about their sexuality. Mouthing off about the fact that no one would care, that it wouldn’t make any difference and it would free them up to be who they were. How stupid I was. I feel like crap sitting her thinking what a moron I was living in this state, in this town surrounded by people who feel free to spit the word faggot into the face of a beautiful young man who was offering to help them and I thought people wouldn’t care. What planet was I living on? We live in a city where if you are deemed too gay…too out…too butch…too fem…too over the top with your make-up or your dress or what ever offends or makes a homophobic most anxious and angry, that the simple act of being yourself will fill people with such rage that they will strike you in the head and kill you. End your life because they hate you for who you are. That’s the world we’re living in. Never ever again will I think I know what it’s like for one moment to be gay because I can’t even go there.

If you knew Sean Kennedy or if you care about what happened to him and just want to pay tribute to his life you will have an opportunity to do so on Sunday, June 3^rd at 8pm. A candle light vigil will be held at Piazza Bergamo, at the corner of Main and Coffee Streets in downtown Greenville. I urge you to attend with your friends and family. Please show the world, Greenville and the rest of South Carolina that we are not all haters, that there are so many people who love and care for all of God’s children. God Bless you Sean Kennedy and peace be with your beloved mother Elke and the rest of your family, they are all in my prayers.

More than 200 people attended the candle light vigil to honor Sean Kennedy’s life. A foundation has been set up to lobby for hate crime legislation in South Carolina. If you would like to donate to the foundation or help lobby for this legislation click on http://www.seanslastwish.com/about.html

for more information. Thanks for caring about Sean and others who suffer discrimination because of who they are.