I just finished reading Rebecca Traister’s new book “Good and Mad.” It was the right book for the times we find ourselves in and was given to me by my feminist son so obviously the perfect gift as well.

I’m a feminist who was heartbroken by Hillary’s loss in 2016 but managed to fuel my rage into volunteer work on behalf of the Democratic Party and Democratic candidates. Traister’s spends a good bit of time in her book discussing the Me Too movement and how that transformed the landscape in the wake of Trump’s election. She graphically describes her own disturbing personal encounter with Harvey Weinstein in 2000 at a book party she was covering as a magazine writer. “I asked Weinstein to comment for my story; he didn’t like my question. There was an altercation; he began shouting at me, pushing me hard with his finger against my shoulder; he called me a “cunt” and a “bitch” and declared that he was glad he was the “fucking sheriff of this fucking lawless piece-of-shit town.” A colleague that attempted to defend her and extract an apology from Weinstein was attacked, knocked to the ground. Weinstein then dragged him onto Sixth Avenue in Manhattan and put him in a headlock. Normal citizens would have been arrested for assault, sued civilly and shunned socially. “Such was the power of Harvey Weinstein in 2000…despite dozens of camera flashes that had gone off on the sidewalk that night, capturing the sight of a famous and physically gargantuan film executive trying to pound in the head of a young newspaper reporter, I never once saw a photo. None were published. Harvey was famous for having the power to spin-to-suppress anything.”

That story infuriated me. It’s perhaps the perfect example of white privilege and the white male power structure enforcing that privilege. It’s absolutely amazing to me that Bill Cosby, Harvey Weinstein, Bill O’Reilly, Roger Ailes and the list goes on were allowed to carry out their harassment, rape and assault of women in the workplace for decades. That enrages me.

Traister also makes the salient point about what those assaults do to the victims. They often prevent women from fulfilling their promise, working on their art or their craft and being as productive and creative as they are capable of being. All because an unwanted assault put a mark on them in some cases silencing them not only about the assault but stopping their career progress.

My husband and I have been talking about women who are sexually harassed in the workplace and he’s come up with what I believe may be a brilliant response to unwanted sexual advances. He says women who are assaulted or confronted with unwanted advances should lash out physically and leave a mark. I suggested kicking the perpetrators in the balls, he thinks scratching his face and leaving fingernail marks or punching them in the face is the correct response. I like his approach because it leaves a mark. It leaves this man who has forced himself on a woman with a visible wound, something that will require an explanation. While I normally don’t advocate violence, this situation demands it. Why do women have to carefully pull away, mindful of not offending or damaging the ego of this male oppressor? Why can’t women and girls forcefully defend their dignity and personal space? If this response results in the police being called, I’m willing to bet in the he said/she said game, the woman wins out. If the perp is married, he has to go home and explain to his long suffering wife why he has a black eye or scratches on his face. Enough is enough.

Here’s another suggestion for combating sexual harassment in the workplace. No more hugs offered or accepted a business meetings. Men don’t hug their male counterparts hello and goodbye so why do women have to be subjected to this practice?  Let’s just shake hands and get on with it. Hugs for some are the gateway to the open mouthed kiss, fingers on your breast etc. Let’s just table this whole bull shit custom and avoid any confusion over our intentions. Too often men interpret kindness as sexual invitation.  Let’s just keep business meetings at a hand shake, professional level.

Traister’s book is an exploration of the feminist movement from the 1700’s to today and some of her anecdotes are enlightening and powerful. “Do not put such unlimited power into the hands of the husbands,” Abigail Adams warned her own husband presciently in the spring of 1776. “Remember all men would be tyrants if they could. If particular care and attention is not paid to the ladies, we are determined to foment a rebellion.” Who knew Abigail was the bossest bitch of the American revolution?  

The rebellion Mrs. Adams spoke of happened in 1848, when two hundred women and fourty or so men convened in Seneca Falls, New York to draft the declaration of Sentiments. This document was a statement of independence from women, rebuking male power.

Decades later Elizabeth Cady Stanton wrote to Susan B. Anthony about her frustration with the constraints of motherhood and wifely duty on her ability to express her political anger through writing and speaking. “I am at the boiling point! If I do not find some day the use of my tongue on this question I shall die of an intellectual repression, a woman’s rights convulsion.”

I think that’s what we are experiencing right now in 2018, a woman’s rights convulsion.  We are at a tipping point in the balance of power in the United States and every woman of every color in every corner of this country needs to understand that no man gives up power willingly. No power structure that’s been in place since the birth of our nation will easily succeed power. We must take what is ours, what has been denied to us for hundreds of years. Women are the majority in the United States and we need to step into our power and seize what is ours. But do not be mistaken how messy, painful and awful this transition will be.

“Why do women think they have to support these guys?” Pat Schroeder wondered, recalling her fury at former Democratic presidential candidate Gary Hart, whose campaign she managed, until it was derailed when he was caught cheating on his wife and lying about it. “I couldn’t have gotten out of the Hart campaign fast enough,” she said, but Hart’s wife stayed with him. And the worst part, she said, was that both Hart and his wife got angry at her for not sticking by him. “So I guess I was supposed to suck it up and come out and defend him,” said Schroeder. “But I just can’t believe that men are that weak. I’m really sorry, but if men are that weak and we have to defend them all the time, then why do they have all the power?”

Why indeed?

The book enlightens, enrages and energizes the reader.